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“Love like grief, fades away”


No, it does not.

Danny Boyle’s movie “The Beach” starring Leonardo Di Caprio (from which the caption has been taken) makes for a nice late night watch. Now this piece of writing is not exactly a movie review. I am not giving you the background or the storyline of the movie. I am just going to share a string of thoughts that was set to motion by the caption of this article. These thoughts (like most of the others) are not necessarily related to the title, but revolve somewhere close to it.

You never fall helplessly in love with someone. Never. Love is a choice. A conscious, thought out choice that you make weighing out the pros and cons of making the choice. Even Love at First Sight is a choice, however impulsive it may be! You choose to love a person. You choose to overlook the differences that they have (or in some cases, choose to change them) You choose to share your life with them. You make this choice of loving them and during the course of your life, try to figure out if you made the right choice. Though the choice you make has been made rationally, you can never quite be sure if it is the right choice, which of course implies to every choice that we make.

If we go by this conceptualization of love, therein comes the question of being heartbroken. If loving someone is such a practical, rational choice made by us, why do we feel miserable when things do not work out? There are two reasons that I can think of. Because, somewhere we refuse to acknowledge that we made the wrong choice. Because, sometimes we forget to weigh the consequences of our choice. The realization of any of the above mentioned reasons is most often a difficult task. No one wants to be wrong. No one wants to be foolish. But perhaps the best way is to realize that we are often both: Wrong and Foolish.

This realization often comes quite late. Perhaps when we are able to detach ourselves from the situation and look at it through a bird’s eye view do we get the entire picture: The entire crooked picture of where we went wrong and what needs to be corrected. Developing such a perspective about a situation that you are in is difficult and comes about gradually. And when it does, the heartbreak that you were so miserable about earlier does not matter anymore, because you know it was either choice made wrong or a wrongly made choice.

“Love like grief, fades away”

Yes, it does!

P.S. None of the views here are autobiographical. Some have been taken from remnants of the memory of a book called "What is Love" which I never finished reading. 

P.P.S.This is just a series of thoughts of one night, susceptible to change! :D

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Comments

  1. Bani22 August 2011 at 10:05

    Well, i'm in my Rumi phase right now, so i shall comment 'using' one his poetry!

    'This We Have Now

    This we have now
    is not imagination.

    This is not
    grief or joy.

    Not a judging state,
    or an elation,
    or sadness.
    Those come and go.
    This is the presence that doesn't.

    If you want what visible reality
    can give, you're an employee.
    If you want the unseen world,
    you're not living your truth.
    Both wishes are foolish,
    but you'll be forgiven for forgetting
    that what you really want is
    love's confusing joy.'
    -Rumi

    =)
    !

    ReplyDelete
  2. meshoome27 November 2011 at 15:14

    One of the things I heard that made most sense about 'love' is this:
    'Love is not an emotion, is it a state of mind.'
    Another one was this:
    'One of the ways to define love is a state of mind where you can ignore all the flaws of a person and concentrate all your energy on his/her good qualities, even if you have only managed to find one.'
    I wrote an interpretation of love on my blog only based on the experiences of three of my friends since at that point I had none myself then (unfortunately, that's changed).
    Read it, I'd like to get some opinions on it.
    http://crappingagain.blogspot.com/2011/07/one-love.html
    And yes, I write a lot in one post/comment :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aks29 November 2011 at 05:15

    @Meshoome: Yes, your latter explanation has been mentioned by me in the post, though a little differently worded.Yes, I did read your interpretation, though my slow brain couldn't finish reading the entire post! :P I don't really have "personal" (so to say) views about love because I often find myself immensely confused when it come to the L-word! I am more of an L-person at the L-word! ;)

    ReplyDelete

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