Coming of Age

Today, we shall analyze and discuss at length, a new genre of relationships that is taking pace with the passing time. It’s easy, romantic and the best of all comes with no misunderstandings! Yes, a Love Story without misunderstandings! Beat that Mr. Eric Segal! While we have all loved the book for its utter simplicity, the genre of relationships that I shall be talking about henceforth has surpassed that level of simplicity. Without much ado, let me introduce my fellow readers to Textual Relationships. (No, you read it right the first time you read it. It is indeed Textual, not what you think you misread!)

They are easy to get into and easier to get out of. No need to buy her flowers, no showering him with hugs and kisses, no need to pretend that you’re listening, no shedding tears after fights (in some cases, no fights at all). All it takes is a series of very cheap antics called Short-Messages (henceforth referred to as SMS). I call them cheap not just out of my utter discontent for them, but also the fact that the price that you pay for an SMS pack of 20,000 free SMS a month is the least you can really pay for Love!

In this age of multi-tasking, we can’t even be blamed for being a “distraction”. You can very conveniently be hitting on another woman/man while blaming your Textual Partner for being unfaithful! Now that’s something that Romeo and Juliet would envy about us! It is all so easy! You want her to think about you all day, send her an SMS saying how sad you are while you are sun-bathing at a beach in Thailand. You want to seduce him, send him an “XO-XO-XO” and let his imagination work wonders for you! Now that’s technology, my friends!

How can I forget to mention T9 when I am praising technology! If you want to act smart and Intellectual, who would come to your rescue but the two letter word! See, it is quick and sophisticated. Tip for all the Text Birds, use T9 and save your loved one the effort of trying to decipher your coded message saying “I ht u”. My mathematical mind cannot help but imagine the possible number of Permutations of Vowels a person would have to figure out, only to decipher that he/she just got dumped! Ouch!

You didn’t understand the Joke that the cute guy cracked, “LOL”! You deleted her last SMS without reading, “Really?” But, SMS don’t always save you. He smelt bad when you met him and you want him to know it, “I am planning to gift you a perfume for your next birthday”! You can never quite be sure if he perceived it to be sarcasm or your utter concern for him! While the use of emoticons “livens up” your conversation and helps to convey what you really wish to say (to some extent), things get out of hand when the innovative minds of people come up with a variety of never-ever-seen-before “smiles, grins, winks”. To quote a few examples-

·         ;d - wink? Grin?

·         :*) - blushing? Kissing? Smiling?

·         :)( - happy? Sad? Confused?

Love at first sight is no longer the trend! Love at first SMS, they say! If someone takes the pain to send you an innovative “HeY”, he sure is interested in you! What follows is a series of SMS, deciphering the true meaning of which is often left to the perspective and Mental Frame of the other person. And, when you are running out of things to talk about, or another muse has caught your attention, you can very conveniently forget to charge your Mobile phone!

I can go on ranting about it but the fact remains, that we know it all. Have we never got irritated while trying to decipher a badly spelt SMS? Have we never perceived a particular reply according what we really wanted it to be, not knowing what the other person wished to convey? Have we not very conveniently told our parents we are “In Class” while we are sitting in a Movie Hall? Have we never sent nasty SMS to friends and then refuted all allegations at the excuse of being “drunk”?

We have all fallen prey to the melodrama of the imaginative world that we tend to create around such cheap antics. Agreed they are inexpensive, but we pay a price in terms of the emotional turmoil that we go through. For some of us, there is no coming out even if we wish to. Others don’t even realize that they need to snap back to reality. How long can we go on hiding under the Virtual Personality that we create through SMS, refuting the importance of Face-to-face conversations and meetings?

How long can I go on and on, ranting the woes of a teenager who has “been there, done that”?