Closure?

“Sometimes, I wish going through life was as easy as reading a book. You moved from one chapter of your life to the other by just a flip of the page and were welcomed by a bold, italicized heading proclaiming “New Chapter”.’ Aanya yawned at this last thought of the day as she went to bed after trying to call her (ex) boyfriend for hours in vain. Like everything else she was not sure about why she wanted to talk. No particular reason, as usual. You don’t need a reason to talk to your “friends”, do you? And that’s what they were now, friends.

It isn’t supposed to bother her that he did not answer her call, or that he was almost never there when she really needed a friend, even though that evening he had told her with eyes filled with tears that he would “always be there” for her “whether she wanted it or not”. And now that she wanted the presence of just someone who would listen to her, he was not there. Oh, but then she has other friends, other good friends, other best friends. And they all love her all the same! In fact, she had just met two of her darlings the same day!

And she was fine! More than fine! She played the perfect entertainer to them, like she always was. Came up with the most witty lines and well, had a good time. Only the previous night she had decided to achieve the much needed closure which she knew would come about only through introspection and self control, to some extent. She understood the gravity of the fact that she was no longer dating him. But, somehow the idea of suddenly letting go of all those times that they had spent together did not gel with her.

It was beyond the understanding of her naïve brain that why someone who wanted to be a friend (even after she warned him it would not work) was just so detached. So unavailable. So much like a stranger. She was no longer sure about what she felt about him or the relationship that just ended. All she knew was that every single morning she woke up to the memories of those wake up calls and every single night she refrained herself from sending the “Goodnight” that she had otherwise gotten so you used to. She was not particularly sad or depressed and showed no symptoms of a heartbroken girl (if at all she was).

She was happy. She had long gave up the idea of holding on to things which are not meant to be. Though she no longer knew about “what” was meant to be, she had accepted things as they were laid out in front of her. But she missed her friend. And she had no possible way of erasing that aspect of him from her memory. All she could do was just to wipe off the remnants of those tears from her eyes and go off to sleep, hoping that tomorrow will be a new day.